Self evaluation

School has started and i'm pumped up. I love my new class...but i miss the old one a lot. I used to say last year that i didn't like my class cause it seemed like they hated me. I felt invisible or rejected. It's like i wasn't a part of the class anymore. I used to just look forward to recess and lunch so that i can go to my friends. I was an outcast. Just like how it was in second year. But i don't know now why i miss 3-10 so much. It's actually the class i hold dearest to me out of all my room 10 classes. I also hold 1-10 dear to me because that's where i met my real friends. Too bad i never got to be classmates with any of them again :\. I feel sad about that. And two of my closest friends are now abroad and it kind of breaks my heart to know i won't see them in a long time. At least Sandra is coming back here. I hope she studies here for college and that her mom understands her.

I've been trying to study. I actually feel good about it that i study now. I want to be better in class. This is the first time i've tried to actually really study and do my HWs at home or in school before i go home. I feel responsible and somewhat fulfilled. I've never done this is in my life. I have never been so organized and happy about school. I like this year. I love this year. I miss my teachers from last year, namingly Ms. Aligada, Sir Bunag, Ms. Camacho, Sir Virtudez (even though he really sucked at teaching chem, he was one of the best teachers), Ms. Zuela, and i guess i really do miss everyone. I can't get over last year but i really love this year. I'm torn. I'm doing advanced reading now and doing HWs diligently and i'm trying to not procrastinate. I want to be an academic awardy this year. I want to receive various awards when i graduate from St. Paul. I'm going to behave this year and be studious, believe it or not. I don't want to just pass, i want to achieve great things. I understand now the importance of school. It's more about how to live and to understand how things are, not the grades and the actual knowledge of it all. It's self evaluation and self discovery of who we are and what we want in life. It's living.

I like my teachers this year too. I'm happy. I'm really happy. But since things are going well in school, my personal life is kind of dwindling in the middle. Nige and i have been having arguments for the past months. It's kind of serious. But i hope we can really work it out. We have been working it out. And just yesterday, his mom talked to him about something that could really jeopardize our relationship and everything we have. I guess, we'll have to really work something out. But our relationship isn't really in a big danger, we just have to fix things.

I'm trying to be responsible. I want to graduate with flying colors so bad. I want to pass the UPCAT and ACET partly for my pride and for what i want in life. Those are the only two tests i am taking. It might look that i'm a show off, but those are the only two schools that really have what i want. UP has the best curriculum for music while Ateneo holds a very good reputation. I'm also thinking about trying out for CSB because of their facilities, but that's just about it. So i'm not yet sure about that one. I honestly want to try out for julliards. I'm confident that my skills can pass julliards. If it wasn't for the oh so big tuition, i would try out with confidence. I wish i could. Maybe i should.

I think this year is about gaining my confidence. I'm trying really hard with everything i've got, to be a better person, holistically.

Oh yeah, there is this english teacher in my batch that i loathe. I know i may be too harsh, but i seriously do not respect teachers who cannot teach their subject in good grammar, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS ENGLISH. I cannot even comprehend how such a teacher would be accepted to teach english out of all subjects :|. I hate it when that happens.

Well, i'm actually looking forward to school now. I think i can do good this year :). I know i will do better this year. And next year, i want to be a freshman of UP. Gonna make this year a good one ;).

~living life in love <3-Talia-~