hi, this is my first time blogging haha...it's quite ironic since i once thought of blogging as something that wastes time but i think my opinion about this has changed now. I guess i'm doing this partly because i feel like it and liza kinda sparked this thing in me that makes me want to write in blogs after i saw her blogs. I guess, i felt less insecure about saying how i feel and what i really think. So here goes nothing...
Lately, things have been...boring. i've been thinking about a lot of things...my friends...my relationship...my life...what's going to happen...and i'm a bit confused at what i really want. I guess i just want to be happy like everyone does...but i really don't want to live a normal life. I'm not saying this against anyone but normal is just a little boring for me. I want my life to be unique. I want it to be a life worth living. I don't want to end up being stuck at some office in a random bank and do paperwork...or be stuck at a call office answering endless calls day by day. I want adventure and spontaneity. I don't want to be someone called as mediocre. I know people say, you'd be lucky enough to get a job but i don't believe in that. I believe in pursuing what one wants and what would make one happy. I know people would criticize me for thinking this way since life is supposedly "hard" nowadays and careers that include talents like music, drawing, dancing, and stuff like that are hard to make a living out off. Am i wrong for saying dreaming big isn't such a bad thing? And that pursuing these things can be the best decision that you may make in your entire life? Maybe it is...maybe it isn't, but how would you know for sure until you try it? Like they say, "we only live once."
Going to another topic...I miss Nigel...a lot. But i don't mean it in a sense where i miss him and want him to be here. Of course some part of me does want him to be here, but what i really miss is just having fun with him and doing new things with him. I think this happens to relationships where it gets to a point where things just stop moving and i'm beginning to believe that we are on the edge of a cliff that'll bring us down to that point. I just wish things don't get to the point where the relationship becomes dull. This doesn't mean that i'm unhappy for i am very happy to have such a loving man beside me even though he knows both my strengths and weaknesses. I'm happy for a lot of reasons and most of those reasons are because i have him. He makes me the happiest and i hope i give him the same feeling he gives me. I know that sometimes i'm not really the best person to be with...but there are times that i can be the best person to be with...i guess everyone has those times. But i just really want to make him happy more than anything. He's my bestfriend and my boyfriend/partner/significant other/soulmate or whatever people want to call it and i couldn't ask anything more from him. I've been thinking a lot about what our future would be, how long we can keep us working. I believe that we will make it because we love each other and that's all one really needs in a relationship, the love that is enough to keep someone become the best he/she can be. So it ain't true that "love isn't enough" because i think it is since it is the drive to doing everything we do, the reason to what we do and who we are. Nigel Christopher O. Villanueva, I love you very much and i will keep supporting you as long as i can. I will be by your side and make things work the way we want them to for us. I will be here for you, to love you and cherrish you as long as God allows me so.
~living life in love <3 -Talia-~
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life fluctuates. relationships seem to have the form of a business cycle. they eventually reach a peak, and a trough.
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