The Zahir, like stated in the book, is a word that was used for many objects and things that it has several definitions. But the thing is...the Zahir becomes an object of obsession, at least for the narrator. And then i realized something, could i have my own Zahir? The book has given me so much to think about...what love means...what freedom means...what happiness really is. I've talked to many people, read what many people write and listen to what many people say. But none have answered these simple questions but it's funny that the book seemed to give me all the answers. It's funny how some mature people are still kind of wrong even though they're the ones who are older and have gone through a lot of experiences. I guess you never really know until you've lived your life through things not a lot of people go through.
I was contemplating on so much that my head felt like it was going to burst. I didn't know the answers and i didn't know how to find them either. But then something came to me. Maybe, there really is the right time for everything. We may find it in the end or not, but it all comes in the right time. Things are meant to go certain ways but the irony of this is that we choose our own destiny. So what is it really? Maybe it's a bit of both. It's really mind boggling and i guess we're just not meant to find out for now.
The book tackles so many questions that it gets you thinking so much that you just get more confused but then after just calming down and not thinking about everything, it's so strange that i find the answers to the questions that i was oblivious to at first. Then everything just came rushing out. I knew what it meant to live now. Not being afraid of anything but fear itself. Not fearing God but rather respecting Him and loving him. Love is suppose to be without fear but rather respect. It is the main essence of love, to respect ones significant other. This is what i also learned in the book.
I looked deep within me and realized something. My Zahir was my loved one. My Zahir was Nigel. I was too deep into it that i was obsessed with the relationship. I was so obsessed with Nigel. And like the narrator of the book, i divulged myself in it and made it my every reason for everything. I forgot the true meaning of what it is to be happy with him and for some time, felt distant and away. Then after reading, i finally figured it out. I had to repudiate him from my obsession and instead just love him as i used to. Love him as a free person and let him be free to do what he wants. I now understand that being free is what gives us the full potential to love a person with all we have. The freedom will give us the key to learning how to love genuinely. I learned this all by reading a book of obsession. And maybe i will learn more as i read more of it until i finish. Many thoughts are still running around in my head but as of now i can't answer them all. I just want to love freely and truly. I want to be free of my Zahir. And i am now able to free myself because i love, because i learned and still learn. I saw my answer and it freed me of my doubts and fears. I am a free woman. I love Nigel and and from now on will try to spread it to as many people as i can. And to continue this journey of life, I commit myself to love and to God. Others may find this unreasonable, but this is what life is about, loving and being loved. We were created out of love, we journey in love, and we perish in the end still in love.
~living life in love <3 -Talia-~
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